"I Just Want to be Neighbors"

So far I have learned that boys aren't very nice. I have also learned that nice girls have no fun. I tend to draw in an equal amount of disappointment and confusion as I did being the not-so-nice girl, and at least she got laid.

For the past two weeks I was becoming increasingly attracted to one of my neighbors. He is a VERY nice guy...all his friends are doctors, he has some health-related career, and he is soft-spoken and seriously way too nice to handle the things that I imagine doing to him. After we hung out a few times he told me that he smokes pot sometimes, it's one of his worst habits...WOW, I better not share with him some of mine. Generally I like to smoke pot to shake the after-effects of my other 250 bad habits, but enough about me. So for the past couple of weeks we've been hanging out, flirting, chatting a lot. We've never kissed, but we'll cuddle on the couch, it's pretty cute. So I'm thinking this is what normal people do. And maybe this is how normal relationships might start? NOPE.

Last Friday we hung out and almost hooked-up, but he was pretty drunk and as much as I wanted to see him naked, I wanted him to remember it, so in keeping with the NGP, I warded off his perverted and delicious advances and left with but a kiss on the cheek. Then, the next morning I wake up to a text..."I think that being good neighbors is the most important thing right now". Excuse me? Did I just get preemptively dumped before I've even kissed the guy? In a text message? And is it really necessary to dump someone you've never even kissed? Ever heard of just, I dunno, say...not calling them anymore?

It was about that time that I decided this whole thing is ridiculous. Boys are idiots whether I'm naughty or nice, so I may as well go back to having fun. I banged him later that night. I'll be the one to decide who's going to be "good neighbors", thank you very much.