My entire college life I dreamed of seducing one of my Professors. There's something about a passionate, intelligent man that I find irresistible. However, as hard as it is to imagine, I was generally sober for the majority of my class lectures, which makes acting slutty much more awkward. Long story short - I never managed to accomplish my personal goal of earning an 'A' for a scandalous oral exam. With all the random idiots that keep me busy as of late, I haven't had time to mourn the failure of my Professor challenge. Until last Wednesday...
I was at a conference for work last week, (yup, there's actually some sucker that agrees to pay me a salary while I sit at a desk and pretend to be busy between blowjobs and martinis). About 250 of us were staying at a hotel for the week and I didn't know a soul. The first workshop of the day was taught by a Professor of an elite University on the other side of the country. I thought nothing of him as I grabbed my seat and got ready for another snoozefest. But after a few minutes of his talk, I kinda started getting warm feelings in my vagina for him. He was actually becoming...yummy. The 40-something, four-eyed smarty-pants was turning into some kind of tall, handsome genius right before my very eyes. I didn't think too much of it, just that maybe this wasn't so boring after all, and a couple of hours later the workshop ended. Then my mind started buzzing...Professor? Yummy? Tall? Over 20? JACKPOT. I left the conference room with no plot in mind, but I wasn't worried...I never have a plot, shit just seems to happen for me.
That night I planned to meet an acquaintance for dinner. I was delighted when I got to the lobby and my dinner partner wasn't there, but Professor Yummy was. My diaphragm did a back flip as I walked towards him. He said he was meeting the same guy, and we were all going to be having dinner together. I was relieved to discover I'd have 2 hours to seduce him rather than 3 lobby minutes. (We all know I could have closed the deal in 3 minutes, but why show off? It was a small town, I didn't want to shock people too soon). During dinner Professor Yummy was giving off some kind of unspoken energy that just screamed to me that he was on the edge of letting loose. I can't put my finger on a single thing that he said or did, I just have a sixth sense for tall, handsome geniuses that are dying to get hammered and forget they're professional geniuses. He had come to the right place. During dinner I was slamming back beers like Barney Gumble. No respectable man would let a girl out-drink her, right? Right...Professor Yummy fell into my first trap. After his fourth or fifth beer, he started to waver when the waitress asked "another?"...but have no fear, I was quick to take the liberty of replying "yes" for him, since clearly he was having trouble. He didn't argue with me. Good choice.
We all decided to hit the local casino. As we went to order a round of drinks Professor Yummy said he "thinks" he might just get water. Me "thinks" he needs more beer. I told him that when I've had too much to drink, I switch to light beer. True story. He quickly agreed that light beer was clearly the best choice. Checkmate. Professor Yummy wasn't a gambler. He stuck a five in the machine..."Hey Big Spender, Da Da Da Daaa!" I sat next to him and stuck my rent money in the machine. I lost my rent money and he won a couple hundred dollars. He gave me a fifty for being his "good luck charm." I didn't protest. By that time he'd switched to gin and tonics and his glasses had come off...I fucking knew it, this guy hadn't gone crazy since he took a bong hit in 9th grade. After a couple of hours of 'Operation Corrupt Professor,' I felt he was corrupted the perfect amount...drunk, happy, but still sexy as fuck. Unfortunately getting him alone might be challenging since the acquaintance of mine that I originally planned to meet for dinner had morphed into some sexually-deprived sweet-talker who seemed to have forgotten that he had a wife and kids while he hit on me ruthlessly throughout the night. He did not want to leave my side. But I was determined...I would get Professor Yummy alone somehow...I'd think of something...
Back at our hotel, I still had no idea how to get this guy alone. The three of us got into the elevator, and all pressed different floors. And get this...like the lucky, slutty bitch I am, Cheater-man was on 2, I was on 5, and Professor Yummy was on 6. You do the math. Cheater-man came out of his alcohol-sleeze trance long enough to realize this and said "should I come for the ride and go back down?" In unison, Professor Yummy and I responded "no." See ya Cheater-man, Professor Yummy and I have 12 seconds alone and he asks me to his room. Fuckin'...aces.
I don't want to bore you with the delicious details of the late-night cardio that went on behind closed doors. He was yummy. I think I should earn an Honorary PhD just for having him inside me. Yummy...smart people...
